If you’re planning your retirement, you’re probably thinking a lot about the money side and whether you’ll have enough to live the life you want. That’s important. But here’s the thing. If you’re only thinking about money, I know you’re not planning well enough, and may even be planning poorly, for the next chapter of your life. What I’d recommend is that you read one book written by a former palliative care nurse. And today I’m going to share this book and the 5 insights you can use to ensure your retirement is the best it can be.

In Bronnie Ware’s book, the Top 5 regrets of the dying, she shares what she learned from people near the end of their lives whilst working as a carer and palliative care nurse 

I know that these lessons, which go well beyond the ordinary typical retirement conversations about money, will really help you plan and prepare for a better retirement or whatever you’ve got planned in the next chapter of your life… 

1) Embracing authenticity 

The first big regret of most people at the end of the lives is the regret that they “didn’t have the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me” 

So, the big question here is are you living authentically and if not how to we move closer to doing this? 

There’s a number of ways but here’s one, get a bunch of post it’s and write on each post it your values. Feel free to write as many as you feel is appropriate to you. 

Then it’s tournament time. Take two random values and see what one is more important to you and one you have to get rid of until you’re only left with 3 or 4 post it’s. 

…and then the question comes – Are you living your life aligned with what you believe to be important? If so, great. If not, it’s time to consider making some changes. 

2) Getting better balance 

The second regret the terminally ill told Bronnie they had was they wished “They hadn’t worked so hard”. 

It’s why when in the What Happens Next model we talk about balancing your wellbeing and thinking about the next chapter of your life through this lens. 

What’s interesting is when people complete our What Happens next quiz – there’s a trend, more prominent with men than with women, that often financial wellbeing and occupational wellbeing is high but their social wellbeing and community wellbeing is low. 

So, if this resonates, you feel you’re working too hard, there’s a question you should consider… 

What does a better balance that takes into account all areas of wellbeing look like? 

And 

What’s the first small step you can take to get closer to this life? 

3) Showing emotion 

The Third regret people expressed on their death beds was… 

“I wish I’d had the courage to express my feelings” 

Here’s my take on this, and I’d love your take in the comments. 

Tell people you love you love them more. I know since reading this book I do. 

Work towards fixing conflicts in relationships which are important to you. 

Don’t regret what you didn’t say when you had the chance… 

I know in my close and immediate family there’s been times when pride has got in the way of all of this… and I wonder whether at the end of our lives, we realise how futile this pride is? 

What do you think? I’d love to know in the comments. 

4) Friendships are important 

A massive regret expressed by the dying was the importance of staying in touch with friends. 

I’ve got a mate called Mike and if he’s taught me one thing it’s this… 

Make the effort. Send the text. Stay in touch. 

The good news about knowing that at the end of our lives we’re going to regret not staying in touch is that we can take positive action to do so today. 

5) Choose Happiness 

Lastly, but definitely not least…the final regret mentioned in Bronnie’s book is… 

“I wish that I had let myself be happier”. 

When it comes to your happiness, don’t assume it’ll happen when you reach some future goal. It won’t. 

It’ll come from novel experiences, gratitude, friendship and self care among so many other things… 

So don’t defer this stuff, start to work on this today. 

So, there’s the 5 lessons we can learn from The top five regrets of the dying… but I’d love to know in the comments below… 

If you’ve spent any time with people who have passed away…for me it was my mum in 2019, how has this informed your view on retirement and what happens next in your life?