I’m a massive advocate on using money as a tool to live the life you want. So, if that’s the case, you might assume I’m a fan of building wealth until we decide to stop permanent work and retire… and then go through a period where we Spend baby Spend!

Now whilst I’m not suggesting you get one of those big money guns and start shooting pounds notes out of it there is a strong argument to say that if we’re approaching a time in our lives where we’re thinking about either retirement or ‘what happens next’ we should spend our hard-earned wealth on things we’ve always wanted to do.

But here’s the problem. Every pound we spend isn’t equal. There’s pretty robust modern research on how to spend our money to make us happier… and strangely this is aligned with many of the Stoic philosophies shared thousands of years ago.

So, in this blog I’m going to explain how to follow the principles of happier money, how that aligns with what the stoics used to say about life and the 5 things you can spend your money on today to live a better retirement or whatever happens next in your life.

I’m a firm believer in you using your money as a tool to live the life you want.

If you’re in the early stages of retirement or within 5 years and planning for ‘what happens next’ now is the time to think about how to spend your money to maximise your happiness.

The good news is that there’s some brilliant modern research (a massive shout of to the work done by Elizabeth Dunn in her seminal book ‘Happy’Money’) much of which echoes with the ancient stoic wisdom from the likes of Seneca, Epictetus and Marcus Aurelius.

So, let’s explore the 5 lessons we can learn about spending money to make us happy, and how some of these lessons mirror the stoics.

Lesson 1 – Buy experiences not things

The first lesson is to spend on experiences instead of ‘stuff’.

Why? Because Experiences create lasting happiness in a way “stuff” often doesn’t.  

Think that shiny new car or big TV will make you happy? Research says we usually end up disappointed by things like dream houses and luxury cars. 

The thrill of a new gadget or outfit fades as we get used to it. In contrast, vacations, outings, and learning new skills become happy memories that we cherish. 

Here’s where it gets interesting: Over time, the joy from material things drops because we start comparing. (“Hmm, my friend’s TV is bigger… maybe I need an upgrade.”) With experiences, there’s nothing to compare – each one is unique. We reminisce about that family road trip or cooking class for years, and it’s hard to feel buyer’s remorse about good times

This concept is perfectly aligned to what Epictetus said when he said…

“Wealth consists not in having great possessions…but having fewer wants”

You don’t get more wellbeing from owning more stuff. The stoics knew that lasting joy comes from being aligned to your inner values and having memorable experiences, not accumulating objects.

That’s why the modern research as illustrated in the book ‘happy’ money’ rings so true.

Lesson 2 – Make it a treat

The research into happy money is that when we spoil ourselves all of the time… the impact of spending money on spoiling ourselves stops becoming a treat.

We know that we quickly get used to good things…it’s even got a name. Hedonic Adaptation, our ability to get used to nice things in our lives which very quickly normalise.

So, how do we make sure we get more happiness for our money. Simply…

Treat treats as treats! Have luxuries a little less often. By doing this we avoid the Hedonic treadmill where we get used to these luxuries but keep them as unique treats we can continue to savour.

When the stoics talked about this, they talked about the principle of moderation. Indulging without restraint was a thing the stoics looked at as counter productive, not knowing thousands of years ago that the evidence in the 21st century would point to the fact that they were absolutely right!

I’m not saying don’t enjoy the finer things in life…you definitely should be doing this…just be conscious that the science says that keeping them a treat is the key to really enjoying the experiences.

Lesson Three – Spend money buying Time

I talk a lot about that for many of us, potentially including you, the most finite resource isn’t money… it’s time.

The number of conversations I’ve had with individuals who, in their 50’s, 60’s, 70’s and beyond who are increasingly conscious that the commodity they’re running short of isn’t money… but the time to enjoy it.

We realise, at a certain point of our lives, and after periods which we’ve spent a lot of our lives particularly from our 20’s through to potentially our late 40’s ‘time poor’, we need to make a positive change and spend our time better.

So, what can we do to ensure that we’re not time poor anymore?

One really simple example is employing people to save you time. That might mean getting a cleaner. Or a gardener. Or employing professional tradesman to do that job you’ve DIY’ed but didn’t get quite right. That might even include working with a financial planner.

The evidence is clear. Spending money to save you time is a proven way to make ourselves happier.

Senecca the stoic talked a lot about valuing time. He used to talk about how frugal we are about our ‘stuff’ but wasteful of the one thing we should be valuing.

Senecca used to talk about the fact that the one thing we should be frugal about is how we spend our time, and particularly when we’re ‘busy’, I do wonder how conscious we are of spending our time doing things we love, like and add value to our lives.

So, consider what you love spending your time doing and what you’re less keen on and consider spending money on creating more time to do what you love.

Lesson 4 – Pay now, Consume later

Currently our culture is full of “buy now and pay later” offers. However, the research tells us to do the opposite. 

It feels counterintuitive, doesn’t it? But the psychology around this is that if we add a bit of anticipation on the money we’ve spend, we get the happiness in advance.

Think about something you’re really excited about – say, a trip to Italy you’ve planned for next year. Half the fun is the lead-up: those months of planning, daydreaming, the countdown until departure. Psychologists find that waiting for a positive experience can amplify your enjoyment.

Also, the research on this clearly shows paying for something long before you do it adds to the excitement and anticipation.

It’s all about enjoyment of anticipation, something the stoics knew all about.

Epictetus had a lovely metaphor about this…

“Nothing important comes into being overnight; even grapes and figs need time to ripen. If you want a fig now, I will tell you to be patient. First let the tree flower, then bear fruit, then ripen.” 

The Stoic mindset is very much about not rushing headlong after instant gratification. They’d applaud the discipline of “pay now, wait, then enjoy”, because it shows self-control and wisdom. By delaying gratification, you appreciate it more when it arrives – a concept both ancient philosophy and modern science agree on.

Lesson 5 – Spend money on others

This is one I’ve spoken about a lot. In fact, I published a recent video on What Happens next talking about the research on the impact being kind to others can have on our lives (which you can watch here)

When we talk about “investing in others,” we mean gifting, treating, or donating – using some of your money to benefit other people. This could be family, friends, charity or your community. Studies consistently show that prosocial spending (money spent on others) brings people more joy than spending on themselves.

Here’s where it gets really interesting: One global study found that someone who donated to charity in the last month had a happiness boost equivalent to their income DOUBLING .

Another study showed people who financially support their adult children or relatives often report better overall health and happiness  It seems that giving is inherently rewarding for our brains. 

Elizabeth Dunn’s research even showed that participants randomly assigned to spend money on others were happier than those told to spend it on themselves, regardless of the amount. We are social creatures, and use of money to strengthen social bonds or help others fulfils a deep need.

The Stoics understood that we’re all part of a larger community and that our well-being is interconnected. Marcus Aurelius, the philosopher-emperor, wrote that “What injures the hive injures the bee.”  

If something isn’t good for your community, it isn’t truly good for you either. 

Flip that around: doing good for others ends up doing good for you. Stoics believed in virtue above all, and kindness, generosity, and justice were core virtues. 

They didn’t see charity as a sacrifice but as a natural duty and source of contentment. Seneca too, in his essays On Benefits, described how a giver benefits as much as the receiver by doing good.

In the book I wrote about kindness a couple of years ago I talked about the benefits of kindness on your own physiology and the fact that often being kind to others is, because of the benefits to you, is also being kind to yourself.

So, who can you help. Is it as simple as taking a friend to lunch or sponsoring a nephew who is doing the marathon. Is it helping the kids or grandkids buy their first home, or giving to a charitable cause you believe in.

These examples of pro social spending can make you feel better and happier.

So, there you have it. 5 lessons we can learn from the research about money and happiness and how it links to the ancient philosophy of stoicism. 

However, there’s more to watch…

In this video I talk about the other stoic lessons we can learn from when thinking about ‘what happens next’ in our lives

And

In this video I talk about what we can learn about another piece of important research into the longest living, healthiest and happiest people on the planet