One thing I know, Both in my own life and working with my clients, is thatchange (even positive change) can be bloody scary.

As Humans we often try to maintain the status quo and stick with what we know. That’s because we’re worried about loss.

When you’re talking about loss, regardless of who you are, retirement is a biggie when it comes to loss. Not only can you lose your income, but you can also lose your sense of identity and purpose.

But what if I told you that both modern day thinkers AND ancient Western and Eastern philosophers all have a particular insight into how to cope and manage this change.

And in this blog, I’m going to explain the two perspectives and the three actions you should consider taking, which will help you can get closer to the life you want to live today.

Today we’re taking inspiration from one Stoic philosophy and one Taoist philosophy which despite being different schools of thought are very similar in their outcome.

Let’s start with the Stoic concept of Amor Fati…which translates to “The love of one’s fate”.

You see, the Stoics believed not only that often acceptance of what happens to us, good and bad, is vital.

Retirement for many of us is often perceived as a period where we lose things. However, using the opportunity to embrace this change, we can use the extra time we get to have to do what we really want with our time.

That’s why I talk a lot about “What Happens next” instead of “Retirement”. “Retirement”, for many of us is a disempowering phrase. 

What Happens Next allows us to consider the next chapter of life with both acceptance, loving the fact we’ve got the opportunity to change direction, but also by being proactive in this chapter to ensure you’re living your life in a way that is both empowering and exciting!

The story of the Chinese Farmer

Now whilst there’s plenty of wisdom in Western philosophies, I also believe there’s also loads we can learn about retirement from the Eastern traditions.

One of my favourite parables is the Taoist story of the Chinese farmer…

This Chinese farmer owned a horse. One day, the horse ran away. His neighbors came to express their sympathy, saying, “What terrible luck!”

The farmer just smiled and said “We’ll see”

A few days later, the horse returned, bringing with it several wild horses. The neighbors exclaimed, “How wonderful!” The farmer responded, “We’ll see”

Later, the farmer’s son tried to ride one of the wild horses, was thrown off, and broke his leg. The neighbors lamented, “What misfortune!” The farmer said, “We’ll see”

Soon after, military officials came to the village to conscript young men into the army. They passed over the farmer’s son because of his broken leg. The neighbors congratulated the farmer on his good luck. The farmer replied, “We’ll see”.

It’s something as humans we’re all guilty of judgement. We perceive certain events, including retirement, as good or bad. The reality is that the acceptance of what is and our positive action towards living the life we want in the next chapter of our lives is worth accepting.

By passing judgement too early we can find ourselves stuck. Stuck with a perspective which doesn’t serve us, stuck with a point of view which doesn’t help us live the life we want, stuck in a rut we want to get out of but whatever we try it doesn’t seem to work.

Now, I haven’t got the all answers on this one (who has!) but let me share what I’ve learned about this…

Reframing retirement with George Kinders “Three Questions” 

I believe there’s a bunch of useful questions we can ask ourselves as we approach the next stage of our lives. I actually talk about three questions I think are pretty powerful in this video.

However there’s three questions, originally talked about by an American financial and life planner called George Kinder.

There’re three questions which George talks about which go as follows: –

“Imagine that you are financially secure and have enough money to take care of your needs now and in the future. How would you live your life? Would you change anything? Let yourself go. Don’t hold back your dreams. Describe a life that is complete, that is richly yours.”

This question is designed to help you imagine your ideal life without any financial constraints and explore your passions, interests and the activities which bring you joy.

“Now imagine that you visit your doctor, who tells you that you have 5 to 10 years left to live. The good part is that you won’t feel sick, but you will have no notice of the moment of your death. What will you do in the time you have remaining to live? Will you change your life, and how will you do it?”

This then changes the perspective and asks you to imagine a life where the thing that’s limited isn’t money, but time. It also means you’ve got to prioritise what you do with it.

“Finally, imagine that your doctor tells you that you have only one day left to live. Notice what feelings arise as you confront your very real mortality. Ask yourself: What dreams will be left unfulfilled? What do you wish you had finished or had been? What do you wish you had done?”

This question is about the regrets you might face if you knew the end was imminent and the action you might want to take sooner rather than later to change your life for the better.

However, it’s worth thinking about ensuring that you’ve got the headspace to answer these questions as effectively as possible. That’s why I’d suggest, as my 2nd tip, is to journal

Journalling

I’ve talked in a previous video about the power of journaling. Taking some time on a relatively regular basis to write about your thoughts isn’t for everyone. However, for those of us who like to write and commit to this, it’s definitely worth considering. 

For more information about the positive power of journaling, this video is worth watching

Incremental improvement 

There are loads of academic research which talks about the positive power of lifelong learning. 

From the research on growth mindset to the incredible science of neuroplasticity we know that learning and incremental improvement helps us live happier, healthier lives.

The reality is that when we make knee jerk decisions on life, instead of learning from the story of the Chinese farmer and the stoic philosophy of embracing whatever happens, this often negatively impacts our happiness.

Instead of this ‘fixed mindset’ approach, having a ‘growth mindset’ and a curious perspective which leans into lifelong learning will help you live a happier, healthier life.

So, the ancient stoics and Taoists agreed. Embracing our fate, good and bad, and instead of immediately passing judgement understanding that life is full of both highlights and lowlights allow us to navigate these changes and improve our health, life and wellbeing either in retirement or ‘what happens next’. 

Also, the three actions you can take are to answer George Kinders ‘three questions’ I’ve talked about in this article, take the time to journal and ask yourself what you’re going to learn next. Adopting a philosophy of curiosity will improve your life today, and in retirement.

In this video you’ll find the full interview we conducted with George Kinder (whose three questions we talked about in this video)

and…

In this video you can learn what other Stoic lessons you can benefit from when you’re thinking about your own retirement.