We’re bombarded from all sources with people telling us that our success in life is all about how financially wealthy we are and there’s no denying that having enough money not to worry about money is an important part of our wellbeing puzzle… but what if I told you that, despite what we’re told, one of the undiscussed secrets to happiness is to both give your money away AND be kinder to others and whilst it might not be discussed openly in our increasingly individualistic society, we’ve known this secret for thousands of years. 

That’s why in this blog I’m going to explain what the evidence tells us about the path to happiness, why the ancient philosophers understood this principle, why the longest living people on the planet know this to be true and how you can practically apply this to your own live to live a retirement you truly deserve. 

I also know that it’s a bit of a strange thing to say. I’m a chartered financial planner talking about how money is only a part of the puzzle when you’re thinking about a life well lived, and why financial independence is important, the impact of money over and above your own definition of financial independence is frankly irrelevant. 

However, it’s true. 

I’ve had so many conversations over the years with individuals who have prioritised material success over health and friendships and find themselves wishing they’d made different decisions. 

I recently recorded a video about Bronnie Ware’s book where she talked about the work she did as a palliative care nurse, many of which pointed to the fact that the clients she worked with wished they made more time for friends and ‘hadn’t worked so hard’. 

To be clear, there’s nothing wrong with working hard. There’s also nothing wrong with building wealth, achieving financial independence and living the life we want. It is however taking a realistic look at how we spend our time and seeing whether it meets all of our wellbeing needs. 

But here’s the issue. We know that a focus on our health is important. We also know that friendships are important. However, the element we often don’t focus on is our community wellbeing and the positive impact of being kind to others in our lives. 

The ancient stoic philosophers understood this principle. All of the stoics used to talk about the importance of community, but I reckon Seneca said it best when he said… 

“No one can live happily who has regard to himself alone and transforms everything into a question of his own utility; you must live for your neighbor, if you would live for yourself.” 

In today’s individualistic society this might not be particularly popular message but the science also shows that helping others in whatever way we choose to boosts our own happiness. 

There’s plenty of research to say that doing good in the world boosts the brain chemicals which makes us feel good. Dopamine, Oxytocin, Serotonin and Endorphins. It’s a subject I talked about in the book I wrote about kindness a couple of years ago.

By the way, If you want to read more about this subject you can pick up a copy of “The kindness project” here and as all of the profits go to the brilliant Saint Francis Hospice, you’ll be doing your good deed for the day as well as learning a bit more about the positive impacts of kindness! 

Community means different things to us all. Some of us it’s geographical, some of us it’s our professions, some of it is related to people who share our beliefs. However, there’s plenty of ways we can boost the chemicals in our head which make us feel good. 

You can mentor a young person. You can help at a charity you care about. You can teach. You can raise funds for a cause you believe in. For many of my clients they use their expertise and become trustees of a charity, sharing their knowledge and expertise to help these organisations continue to run well. 

The fact is that, particularly in a period of our lives when we might have a bit more time to contribute to our communities, you should consider how this looks for you. So, what could you do today to be kinder to others and therefore kinder to yourself? 

If you want to explore a bit more on this particular subject this video talks about the wellbeing lessons we can learn from Bluezones including the importance of community and this video talks about the fact that both pleasure and purpose in retirement are both important.