When I think back to how different my grandad and dad’s lives were and are to mine and look forward to how my kids see the world I often wonder whether we live so fundamentally different lives there’s nothing we can learn from, or teach to the future generations. 

But then I realise that whilst some elements of our lives are moving at the pace of light, there’s some values, virtues and attributes which transcend not only a couple of generations but thousands of years. 

There’s also clear evidence that learning from, but not only imparting generational wisdom, but also learning from those much younger from us, has on our happiness, mental health and longevity. 

So, in this blog I want to share the reasons why the modern science and the ancient philosophers agreed that both learning and sharing inter-generational wisdom is a key component of happier, healthier retirements and the 5 steps you can take to start doing this today. 

One of my most favourite TV shows in the past few years has been a Channel 4 show called “Old peoples home for 4 year olds”. 

The first series was set in the St Monica Trust retirement community in Bristol and took ten residents (aged between 80 – 104) and bought them together with ten four year olds in a specially designed nursery set up in the care home. 

It was such a sweet show. Seeing these relationships develop between humans where the age gap was, at it’s narrowest 75 years and at it’s widest a century, was not only heartwarming but also fascinating. 

The fascinating bit, for me personally, was how the older people changed. 

You see behind the relationships there was an experiment. This experiment was designed to test the mental and physical changes on the older people on having the 4-year-olds around. 

Here’s what happened. Many of the older peoples’ moods significantly improved, many of the older people became more mobile and there were increases in mental functions. 

Now, if you’re or reading this, you’re probably a lot younger than 104 but the principles I believe still apply to you. 

You see, there’s a bunch of reasons (validated both by the science but also aligning with what the ancient philosophers said) about how not only sharing your wisdom, but learning from those from younger generations is brilliant for us. 

The first place to look for this reason is the amazing research conducted over the last 80 years in the Harvard Study of Adult Development, currently being directed by the brilliant Dr Robert Waldinger. 

By the way, Dr Waldingers book cowritten with Marc Schulz, the Good life (lessons from the world’s longest scientific study of happiness, is definitely worth a reading for anyone thinking about the next chapter of their lives and is something I’ve talked about quite a lot! 

For 80 years the Harvard study has tracked individuals to reflect what it means to lead a fulfilling life. The key component of all of the research… 

Relationships matter. 

But why do intergenerational relationships matter? 

I’d suggest that intergenerational relationships offer some pretty unique emotional benefits.  

I know that for a lot of my clients, spending time with their grandchildren when they finally stop work, provides renewed sense of purpose often replacing the role of work in their lives. 

This purpose can also come from becoming a mentor to younger generations and sharing your knowledge, skills, expertise and wisdom is another way you can definitely add value to the people you’re mentoring, but maintain a sense of positive purpose in your life is a definite win / win. 

However there’s also plenty of research showing that learning from the younger generations is an important thing to do too. Learning new perspectives, fresh ideas, and new skills from the people who know this stuff the best (who are often the younger generations) increases neuroplasticity which is shown to boost our mental health and slow down cognitive decline. 

But, how do we practically spend more time with people of the younger generations in a way which is meaningful. Here’s the 4 ideas I’d suggest you consider… 

Create a family legacy project 

I’ve spoken before about the podcast I hosted with my daughter where she helped me, along with the amazing guests we interviewed, about how to become a kinder person. 

That resulted in a book and us raising a decent chunk of money for a cause we believed in. 

However if you ask me know what that was about…it was about legacy. 

The podcast and the book were both about sharing ideas with each other which will definitely outlast me! The book was the cherry on that particular cake. 

I’ve also been more conscious, since losing my mum in 2019 and my dad getting older, that I need to permanently record more of these stories… so I’m still trying to persuade my dad to do this. (full disclosure – this is a work in progress) 

However, I’d love to know. What could a family legacy project look like for you… 

You might want to record some stories with your kids and grandkids where you get to tell them stories of your life. 

You might want to write a book along with your family to share with generations yet to come. 

You might want to build and work on your own family tree.  

There’s a bunch of ways to do it… but I’d recommend chatting with your kids and your grandkids to find the one which works best for you. 

Do a ‘skills exchange’ 

I wonder what amazing skills you could teach your kids or grandkids… 

Would it be woodworking, or public speaking, or cooking? 

And what could your kids or grandkids teach you? 

Could it be a particular piece of tech? Or how they’re engaging with AI? Or a skill or interest they love you’ve just never been into. 

We learn better when we teach, so participating in a skills exchange is a win / win way to spend time with the younger generations all round 

Mentor 

I know that many people in their 50’s, 60’s and beyond are amazing mentors. 

Now, you can be a mentor in a variety of different ways… 

I know people who are in semi-retirement who mentor younger people in their particular profession. 

I know some amazing humans who help out as a mentor and role model in organisations which help young people who wouldn’t normally have access to these sort of people.  

I know many who mentor via sports coaching, or community clubs, or via the scouts or the guides. 

The list of opportunities to mentor is endless. However one thing is true… 

Often a mentoring relationship is great for the mentee, but also fantastic for the mentor. 

Share experiences with your younger family 

One of my fondest memories of my Grandad probably when I was about six until I was about 10 is the times he took me on trips. 

These wasn’t particularly expensive or elaborate trips, but trips to the National Gallery in London or the maritime museum. 

It was interesting. He got to see me run around and enjoy the exhibits. He got to share his experiences and wisdom and we talked about those experiences for so many years to come. 

I’ve written and spoken before about the fact that creating memories with the people we love and like is way more valuable than just buying stuff. 

However, if you’re being intentional about it…let me ask you a question… 

What experiences do you share with the younger people you love and like? 

What experiences would you love to share with these people? 

And 

What’s the first step you can take to make it happen! 

So, that’s it! The reason why intergenerational sharing is so important and 4 practical steps you can take today to do more of this. 

I’d love to know how you do more of experiencing quality time with younger people and benefitting from the experience, so feel free to comment below!